I am a:
Lawful Good Half-Elf Ranger Fighter
Follower Of Mielikki
Alignment:
Lawful Good characters are the epitome of all that is just and good. They believe in order and governments that work for the benefit of all, and generally do not mind doing direct work to further their beliefs.
Race:
Half-Elves are a cross between a human and an elf. They are smaller, like their elven ancestors, but have a much shorter lifespan. They are sometimes looked down upon as half-breeds, but this is rare. They have both the curious drive of humans and the patience of elves.
Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.
Secondary Class:
Fighters are the warriors. They use weapons to accomplish their goals. This isn't to say that they aren't intelligent, but that they do, in fact, believe that violence is frequently the answer.
Deity:
Mielikki is the Neutral Good goddess of the forest and autumn. She is also known as the Lady of the Forest, and is the Patron of Rangers. Her followers are devoted to nature, and believe in the positive and outreaching elements of it. They use light armor, and a variety of weapons suitable for hunting, which they are quite skilled at. Mielikki's symbol is a unicorn head.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Monday, June 06, 2005
HOLY Crap! I almost pissed myself!
Excerpt from bertrandom.com
Katie Holmes to Seventeen magazine last October, presumably well before she started dating Tom Cruise: "I think every little girl dreams about [her wedding]. I used to think I was going to marry Tom Cruise." (Seventeen via IMDB)
It’s funny that you ask this, Kelly, because when I heard about it from my sister, which she prefaced by saying, “The world is ending…”, I was undoubtedly shaken. I set my personal problems aside, which are numerous, and gave old Tom Cruise a call. He was between Bob, DJ and Diamond, Dustin.
“Tom, let me get straight to it, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“Well, Bertrand, when you get to be my age…”
“60?”
“47.”
“Close enough.”
“When you get to be my age, you come to realize there are certain things in life that are important to you.”
“Using your celebrity status to influence presidential elections?”
“Banging Katie Holmes.”
“But how did you come to the conclusion that you wanted to bang Katie Holmes, to use the parlance of our times?”
“That’s none of your goddamn business.”
“See, this is my theory. Nicole Kidman does better films than you, so…”
“Nic doesn’t do better films than me!”
“Tom, when she was doing Moulin Rouge, you were doing Vanilla Sky. When she was making The Hours, you made Minority Report.”
“Stepford Wives got panned!”
“I’m going to tell you this right now, it kicked the shit out of Collateral. So Nicole Kidman does better films than you, and you got tired of that. You were on a plane watching First Daughter and you saw Katie Holmes and thought, if I dated her, I’d be making better movies than her!”
“Not true.”
“The Gift?”
“No, that’s not what happened.”
“All right, what happened?”
“Well, I was sitting at home on a Friday night, having a cappuccino and some blow, and the kids were lying on the floor watching Dawson’s Creek, and my youngest, Conor, turns to me and says, `I bet you couldn’t sleep with her!’ and pointed to Katie Holmes. I sat up from the couch, ruffled his hair, and then yanked his head back and said, `Look, you little shit, I’m fucking Tom Cruise! I can sleep with anybody I want!’ Then Isabelle, my daughter, says, `Is that why you had sex with Val Kilmer?’ and I said, `Where did you hear that bullshit?’ and Conor says, `Mommy says that you’re L. Ron Hubbard’s bitch and that’s why you sleep with men.’ And it was around that time that I decided to bang Katie Holmes.”
“Which episode was it?”
“What?”
“Which episode of Dawson’s Creek was it?”
“Oh, it was the one where Joey goes to visit her dad in jail and Dawson realizes that he has feelings for her.”
“Good episode.”
“Yeah.”
Katie Holmes to Seventeen magazine last October, presumably well before she started dating Tom Cruise: "I think every little girl dreams about [her wedding]. I used to think I was going to marry Tom Cruise." (Seventeen via IMDB)
It’s funny that you ask this, Kelly, because when I heard about it from my sister, which she prefaced by saying, “The world is ending…”, I was undoubtedly shaken. I set my personal problems aside, which are numerous, and gave old Tom Cruise a call. He was between Bob, DJ and Diamond, Dustin.
“Tom, let me get straight to it, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“Well, Bertrand, when you get to be my age…”
“60?”
“47.”
“Close enough.”
“When you get to be my age, you come to realize there are certain things in life that are important to you.”
“Using your celebrity status to influence presidential elections?”
“Banging Katie Holmes.”
“But how did you come to the conclusion that you wanted to bang Katie Holmes, to use the parlance of our times?”
“That’s none of your goddamn business.”
“See, this is my theory. Nicole Kidman does better films than you, so…”
“Nic doesn’t do better films than me!”
“Tom, when she was doing Moulin Rouge, you were doing Vanilla Sky. When she was making The Hours, you made Minority Report.”
“Stepford Wives got panned!”
“I’m going to tell you this right now, it kicked the shit out of Collateral. So Nicole Kidman does better films than you, and you got tired of that. You were on a plane watching First Daughter and you saw Katie Holmes and thought, if I dated her, I’d be making better movies than her!”
“Not true.”
“The Gift?”
“No, that’s not what happened.”
“All right, what happened?”
“Well, I was sitting at home on a Friday night, having a cappuccino and some blow, and the kids were lying on the floor watching Dawson’s Creek, and my youngest, Conor, turns to me and says, `I bet you couldn’t sleep with her!’ and pointed to Katie Holmes. I sat up from the couch, ruffled his hair, and then yanked his head back and said, `Look, you little shit, I’m fucking Tom Cruise! I can sleep with anybody I want!’ Then Isabelle, my daughter, says, `Is that why you had sex with Val Kilmer?’ and I said, `Where did you hear that bullshit?’ and Conor says, `Mommy says that you’re L. Ron Hubbard’s bitch and that’s why you sleep with men.’ And it was around that time that I decided to bang Katie Holmes.”
“Which episode was it?”
“What?”
“Which episode of Dawson’s Creek was it?”
“Oh, it was the one where Joey goes to visit her dad in jail and Dawson realizes that he has feelings for her.”
“Good episode.”
“Yeah.”
The woes of Tech Support
Customer: "Did you know about the thunderstorm? I heard that I should unplug my computer. Should I do that?"
Tech Support: "In most cases, yes, it is best to at least unplug your phone and data line. Lightning sometimes causes power surges that can damage your modem or nic."
Customer: "Can it damage other things as well...like the phone?"
Tech Support: "It is rare, but it is a possibility."
Customer: "So do you think that I should unplug the phone from my computer and from all the phones as well?"
Tech Support: (frustrated) "Couldn't hurt."
Customer: "So when can I plug them all back in?"
Tech Support: (really annoyed now) "When the storm is over."
Customer: "How will I know when it's safe, though?"
My face lit up like a Christmas tree, and it was all I could do to keep myself breathing evenly.
Tech Support: "I will call you."
Customer: "Ok! Thank you!"
Tech Support: "In most cases, yes, it is best to at least unplug your phone and data line. Lightning sometimes causes power surges that can damage your modem or nic."
Customer: "Can it damage other things as well...like the phone?"
Tech Support: "It is rare, but it is a possibility."
Customer: "So do you think that I should unplug the phone from my computer and from all the phones as well?"
Tech Support: (frustrated) "Couldn't hurt."
Customer: "So when can I plug them all back in?"
Tech Support: (really annoyed now) "When the storm is over."
Customer: "How will I know when it's safe, though?"
My face lit up like a Christmas tree, and it was all I could do to keep myself breathing evenly.
Tech Support: "I will call you."
Customer: "Ok! Thank you!"
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
OMG... I cant believe I even did it.
You scored as Existentialist. Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Mankind is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility.
Postmodernist | 56% | ||
Existentialist | 56% | ||
Cultural Creative | 50% | ||
Materialist | 44% | ||
Idealist | 44% | ||
Modernist | 38% | ||
Romanticist | 38% | ||
Fundamentalist | 31% |
Friday, May 06, 2005
Poker does a body GOOD!
Mmmmm.... Poker... I luv it.
You ever heard that expression... Just like a casino.. Liqour in the front... Poker in the rear.
Here is to the Staraces... and their cash I won!
Viva la Dirty Sanchez!
Orale!
You ever heard that expression... Just like a casino.. Liqour in the front... Poker in the rear.
Here is to the Staraces... and their cash I won!
Viva la Dirty Sanchez!
Orale!
Friday, April 22, 2005
WANTED:
Single White Female
Over the age of 75
Independantly Wealthy
Giving in nature
Partially Blind
Hot Granddaughter 19-25
No other surviving relatives
Please email: pimpy@401kalternative.org
Over the age of 75
Independantly Wealthy
Giving in nature
Partially Blind
Hot Granddaughter 19-25
No other surviving relatives
Please email: pimpy@401kalternative.org
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Friday, January 07, 2005
Pimpy's Stable
Yo...
Why do you call where you park your car a driveway, and where you drive your car a parkway?
I really wanna know.
Why do you call where you park your car a driveway, and where you drive your car a parkway?
I really wanna know.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)